So I haven't exactly been posting much lately. Nowhere really. I have done a couple small pieces during my little hiatus, nothing overly time consuming. I wish I had some great reason for it, like everything was going amazingly, and I was out living life as happy as can be. Instead it was a combination of laziness, not feeling inspired, and being a little crushed over something with a guy. Honestly the latter part is stupid no matter what perspective you look at it from. I was stupid, he was stupid, and the fact that we work together and can't even make eye contact is stupid (well I can't make eye contact, I have an anxiety attack whenever he comes to work- he just doesn't want to look at me).
TODAY however I finally drew something that I put some time and effort into, not something I ever expected to have drawn either. Had you told me 5 years ago that I would draw a portrait of Justin Bieber I would assume you were having a laugh. But today I opened Spotify and was checking out new music and I saw Friends, his new single. I gave it a listen, and it made me think about my ex and how I really wish things had ended like that. It broke my heart to listen to because I couldn't help but think of all the shit that asshole put me through, all the heartache, all the pain, all the cheating, and even ultimately leaving me for someone else. I sat there listening and fantasizing about how much I would have preferred things to end on the note of Justin's song. I ended up googling a couple pictures of him (Justin- not my ex) as I hadn't quite kept up with his goings ons… ever. I know I have seen a lot of posts talking about his sexuality and his relationship with some pastor, but frankly I never paid it much mind as its really none of my business, I do not suspect I will ever meet Justin Bieber, so I don't see what it has to do with me or anyone. However I will say, if they are together in some way they do make a cute couple, and its quite apparent that he has helped Justin grow into himself more, which is a damn good thing. And if they are not together, then I am still glad Justin has someone who loves and supports him and is helping him aspire to be kinder to himself. THATS what is important.
ANYWAYS that was the longest thing I have written on here. Here is the picture, well three variations of it, since I wasn't quite satisfied with any of the backgrounds.
I have drawn more pictures of this kid than I have anyone else. Of all the people I have known as briefly as I. Have known him, so few have left the impact that he has on me. So few do I think about so frequently. I guess that’s why I have 3 drawings of him (and one of which got coloured later, so kinda four). I never see him anymore, and it seems that he intentionally ignores me when I run into him at work. Guess I didn’t leave the same feeling with him.